아이비리그 합격 학생 에세이 전격 공개!!

▶ 내신 all A + SAT 1580점이면 '하버드' 갈 수 있을까요?
-> 절대 No!!
-> 하버드대에 지원하는 학생 대부분이 똑같이 내신좋고 시험성적도 좋습니다.

▶ 그럼 하버드 포함 아이비리그 대학 입학사정관들은 어떻게 학생을 알아볼까요?
-> '원서에세이' 로 학생의 성격, 성공할 수 있는 학생인지 알아봅니다.

대원외고 칼리지 카운슬러부터 27년간 원서에세이를 지도한 스티븐 허 원장한테 맡겨보십시오!

본원 수강생 아이비리그 합격 에세이 전격 공개합니다.

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학생측에 허락 받았습니다.

학생측에 허락 받았습니다.

학생측에 허락 받았습니다.

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Model United Nations Leadership

 During my latest year of participation in the Model United Nations club, I was the delegate for the University of California at Berkeley National Model United Nations Conference representing Zambia as the sole delegate of the Credentials Committee. Although our Model United Nations club had no permanent captain or president, our advising teacher had us have conference captains on a per-conference basis. Through this flexibility and in the opportunity that it provided, I developed a successful method to change the way our club prepared for conferences, and this freedom and flexibility encouraged by our advisor let us all to excel and developed in me a leadership I didn't know I had.

 I noticed that most Model United Nations conferences accepted submissions from schools to attend based on the evidence of preparedness of the school’s MUN club in its proposal paper to represent a certain country. The advising teacher wrote most such proposal papers, and he also selected the country in the process of making the proposal. Mr. Alan Greene, our advisor, didn't do this out of lack of confidence in our ability, but did this because this was just how proposals were made in the competitive conferences. Our team was already strong, and we had very effective members who debated well and did great conference prep research, so I proposed to Mr. Greene that we would write the proposal paper and select the country to represent. He agreed.

 Because most school delegations choose European or Super-Power nations, I also suggested that we try to stay away from the OECD advanced countries. The University of California at Berkeley conference was to have an Ad Hoc committee on the invasion of Ukraine and subsequent war there, so I was sure that many of the delegations would choose G7 or G20 countries to represent to take the geo-political high-ground. My proposal was to represent Zambia, consistently rated a top-10 leading democracy in Africa, became a multiparty democracy since 1990, and had peaceful transfers of power through its history since gaining independence from Britain in 1964. My aim was to take the issues of the Ukraine war from a developing country’s point of view, especially with its stake in Ukrainian wheat prices for its people's welfare. My proposal won the vote in club session debates, and I was to be the conference captain.

 I volunteered to be sole delegate to the Credentials Committee at the conference, which was an interesting choice of committee to host by the Berkeley students planning the event. I volunteered for the committee although I knew that such a minor committee delegate rarely received any conference awards. I appointed committee co-captains to lead the larger, multiple-delegate committees, and our school won the most valuable delegate award that year, for the first time in four years at a major conference of 200 schools or more. We all worked very hard and the victory was personally inspiring because I had put myself and my leadership at stake.

 Mr. Greene’s open forum and receptiveness to our eager ideas was the ripe setting to inspire in me such boldness and creativity. Although I was the conference captain, I was inspired by the spirit of “cohesion-in-individuality” that Mr. Greene’s guidance proposed. The lessons in teamwork and cooperation that I learned in that conference would be life-long lessons. I learned to lead by inspiring the members and working with them, instead of leading from the front. The fruits of victory would be shared because the effort was shared, but more importantly, I learned that such leadership leads to victory for all to share and to be proud of. I made the critical decisions when they had to be made, but I invited all in the decision-making process itself. I gained more respect by my fairness and my ready ear to listen.

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